Juliet's Wall in Verona

Prepare for a boatload of posts dedicated to the power of positivity and taking hold of your life. I am thankful to have a wonderful and amazing mother who does a good job at not only driving me nuts but also motivating to be my best. I honestly believe she drives me so nuts. I think we tend to argue so much because we are so alike. She knows what she wants in life and works to do exactly that. With a momma like that, I am very blessed. If there is one thing my mother continuously tells me, it’s to “Claim what you want". She’s right. My mom has always told me you can design your life. I highly believe that because if that weren’t the case, I would not be where I am right now. 

This idea should not only work in your life but also in what you want to find in a significant other. If you have no idea what you want or honestly deserve than you will settle for whatever comes. That's a fact.

Some girls like myself have a “list” or things that they must have in a guy they are seeing or dating or plan on marrying one day. My list isn’t like “he has to have green eyes!”. Like, sure they are nice and beautiful and my children will be gorgeous but that doesn’t make it or break it for me. That’s not what my list is for. My list comprises of traits, desires, and very few physical attributes of what I want in my significant other. 

This isn’t to be superficial or picky. This determines who you want in your life. What you want in the person you plan on sharing your life with. Who you want to wake up to every morning. Because of that, everyone should know what they want in that person. They are not perfect and aren't going to be. Neither are you. But you have the ability and opportunity to pick who that person is or will be. This list serves as a guide: a guide to the amazing person waiting for you somewhere in this world.

Since I am nothing short of personal on my blog, I am going to share mine. 

I wrote this after sobbing on the phone with my mom over another boy who broke my heart. I wrote this last summer and have not touched it since. I thought my mother was crazy but I listened since that’s all I could do as I sobbed and claimed I would never like another male again. Such a lie LOL. 

I opened up my computer and just started writing in my notes section. As I wrote, I literally became excited just thinking about who the individual will end up being.

Looking back now, I am so thankful I did. My mom blatantly told me to write a list of all the things I want in this "man" that I see myself with in the future. Doing so, I would not only start seeing what I wanted but also somehow attract it. 

Let’s be clear. This does not make me a picky individual. If you think so, you need to change up your thinking and start claiming what you want in life. So, now I’m asking you: what do you want in your partner and significant other? Who do you want to be with, share your life with, or even marry? 

Stay positive darlings. 

xoxo, 

Ever hear that one before?

Damn straight I do. Add a soda too while you're at it! 

Just kidding. That phrase always gets me. Yeah, I feel awesome and guess what? That's okay!

In life, we have very few things we can control. To me, self-confidence is definitely one of them.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with flaunting or loving the way you look or feel. 

Beyoncé does it, so why can't I? 

Society has somehow made us think we are narcissistic or self-absorbed for some reason by doing that. I'm sure it has to do with the whole concept of selfies and likes on basically everything. 

Yes, after a certain point, put your phone down and quit doing it so that people will like you more. 

Self-confidence isn't finding assurance in others. You need to find assurance in yourself. 

I am thankful to have girlfriends who share the same beliefs and aren't afraid to own who they are. They inspire me to do the same. 

Most of my friends could probably tell you that I am one for dressing up anywhere I go. 

Work, school, or even Walmart. Alright, not Walmart maybe Target on a good day.  

As Cornelius Lindsey wisely stated, 

"If you live off a man's compliments, you'll die from his criticism".

So, you've always wanted to wear a bikini but didn't think you could? Wear it. 

Love the look of wearing a bold lip color but never tried it? Try it.

Scared of doing something others will think is weird? Do it anyway.

Who am I looking good for you ask? 

Myself, that's who. 

(and maybe my potential husband but shh..)

I am not a fan of those who judge others for what they wear and the sort.

I can wear a paper bag if I want to and I will look great in it. Watch me. 

I have grown into loving myself more. 

I thank my fabulous mother for exuding her own confidence through her style and words. She is never afraid to strike a pose or wear her best and I've learned a lot from that.

I love taking pictures and wearing figure flattering clothing.

If someone doesn't like it, bye. 

Ultimately, you have to be happy with who you are and all that you are. 

No one else's opinion matters. 

(Except your momma's...My momma always knows best) 

You don't owe some of us anything. We get that. We thought you did.

We trusted you. At least we thought we could trust you. We didn't know you had another plan. One different than the one you promised. We went into this thinking the best. We hoped for the best. We hoped you had listened. We don't know why we opened ourselves up so much. 

Sorry for believing things could be different. 

For wanting to protect ours hearts once more. 

For thinking maybe just maybe things could work. 

For wanting to make it work. For wanting you to want us.

For wanting to show you it could be different with us. 

For wanting to make you happy.

For caring about you.

For loving you.

Granted, you may have history and feelings with others. We thought we could show you something different. Be something different. 

We can't compete with that and frankly, we shouldn't have to. 

Hurt more than ever before because we thought we knew the person we were getting involved with. We didn't think you would leave, lie, or fool us. 

We didn't think it would happen all over again. Or worse.

We can't give you what you want and that's clear. It's like déjà vu all over again. 

We are some form of entertainment: an amateur act, an opening act, a piece of side entertainment that is only temporary. 

Some of us are just there until you get exactly what you want. 

You entertain us because maybe you feel bad. 

Maybe you think you could help us. 

Feel that we need attention or crave it because it's nonexistent at the moment.

To you, we aren't good enough for your full attention.

You probably didn't mean to hurt us but you sure as hell did. 

A lot. A lot more than you can ever imagine. A lot more than you'll ever know. 

We are used to it. The pain never goes away but it gets better slowly. 

You said things, we said things. 

It all comes down to actions. Actions that were never taken and promises that were never kept.

We thought we could try or attempt to see what could happen but we never got to see that chance. 

We weren't good enough for that.

We deserve someone who gives a shit about us and what we want. 

Someone who will make us forget any pain from before.

Someone who cares enough to make time for us. 

Time we will forever treasure in our hearts.

We're like a mirror. Bright, shiny, and catch your attention once you take a glimpse.  

The mirror looks nice and works great although it may have been damaged before. 

But you don't know that. It's working fine, right? 

You threw something at it just like the others.

A piece fell off that will never fit in it correctly again. 

You took a piece out with your bare, unforgiving hand.

It's broken, open, and incapable of being completely fixed. 

It can only be patched up to look like new.

A piece that's gone just like the others. Replaced but never the same.

The butterflies are all dead and we can feel the emptiness inside. 

The dead wings that were once alive and fluttering. 

Sorry for being too honest.

Sorry for trusting you so much.

Sorry for getting too excited.

Sorry for caring so much.

Sorry for thinking you cared about us when you really didn't. 

That's just what we do. Guess what? That's just what we will continue to do. 

Our hearts may have been broken, stepped on, shattered and somehow, we still manage to make them work. 

We hope in some near or distant future we find someone that gives us some of the joy, happiness, and excitement you gave us, even if it was just temporary. 

We hope you are happy and we are mature enough to wish you the best with whomever you chose to invest your time, attention, and love in. 

In the end, we both deserve to be happy even if it's not the way we wanted it to be. 

Even if it's not with us.  

Sincerely,