Naturally Kimmy by Kimberly Gomez: mistakes

Showing posts with label mistakes. Show all posts

Sunday, April 26, 2015

All About Romance: The List

Posted by Kimberly | Labels:advice,crush,date,girl talk,lessons,mistakes,relationships,romance,thoughts

Juliet's Wall in Verona

Prepare for a boatload of posts dedicated to the power of positivity and taking hold of your life. I am thankful to have a wonderful and amazing mother who does a good job at not only driving me nuts but also motivating to be my best. I honestly believe she drives me so nuts. I think we tend to argue so much because we are so alike. She knows what she wants in life and works to do exactly that. With a momma like that, I am very blessed. If there is one thing my mother continuously tells me, it’s to “Claim what you want". She’s right. My mom has always told me you can design your life. I highly believe that because if that weren’t the case, I would not be where I am right now.

This idea should not only work in your life but also in what you want to find in a significant other. If you have no idea what you want or honestly deserve than you will settle for whatever comes. That's a fact.

Some girls like myself have a “list” or things that they must have in a guy they are seeing or dating or plan on marrying one day. My list isn’t like “he has to have green eyes!”. Like, sure they are nice and beautiful and my children will be gorgeous but that doesn’t make it or break it for me. That’s not what my list is for. My list comprises of traits, desires, and very few physical attributes of what I want in my significant other.

This isn’t to be superficial or picky. This determines who you want in your life. What you want in the person you plan on sharing your life with. Who you want to wake up to every morning. Because of that, everyone should know what they want in that person. They are not perfect and aren't going to be. Neither are you. But you have the ability and opportunity to pick who that person is or will be. This list serves as a guide: a guide to the amazing person waiting for you somewhere in this world.

Since I am nothing short of personal on my blog, I am going to share mine.

I wrote this after sobbing on the phone with my mom over another boy who broke my heart. I wrote this last summer and have not touched it since. I thought my mother was crazy but I listened since that’s all I could do as I sobbed and claimed I would never like another male again. Such a lie LOL.

I opened up my computer and just started writing in my notes section. As I wrote, I literally became excited just thinking about who the individual will end up being.

Looking back now, I am so thankful I did. My mom blatantly told me to write a list of all the things I want in this "man" that I see myself with in the future. Doing so, I would not only start seeing what I wanted but also somehow attract it.

What I Want in My Significant Other

I want him to be assertive, ambitious, super affectionate, caring, spiritual.

I want him to have a good head on his shoulders, goals, aspirations, and hobbies.

I want him to want to be his best.

I want him to be funny. A guy that can make me laugh on a bad day.

I want him to be athletic and active. I want him to care about his health and physical appearance.

I want him to strive for greatness. I want him to be ambitious and successful.

I want him to be smart and to teach me things I don’t know.

I want him to challenge me in a good way.

I want him to take me out of comfort zone and help me grow as a person.

I want him to be kind and caring.

I want him to be a family person and can hang out and be goofy and have a good time.

I want him to be outgoing and not afraid.

I want him to be protective and proud of me.

I want him to push me to be better and do better.

I want him to be passionate and sexy.

I want him to crave me in all ways.

I want him to surprise me and shock me in the best ways possible.

I want him to check up on me throughout my day and see how I’m doing.

I want him to know every aspect of me and learn to love me.

I want him to be loyal.

I want him to be always there when I need him.

I want him to be my best friend.

I want him to be a role model.

I want him to care about tradition and respect me.

I want him to want a beautiful marriage and a family.

I want him to be spontaneous and want to do extraordinary things.

I want him to travel and want to explore.

Let’s be clear. This does not make me a picky individual. If you think so, you need to change up your thinking and start claiming what you want in life. So, now I’m asking you: what do you want in your partner and significant other? Who do you want to be with, share your life with, or even marry?

I challenge you to make your list. Feel like sharing? Leave a comment or send away on Twitter, Insta, or email! I’d love to read them <3

Stay positive darlings.

xoxo,

2 comments

Friday, July 18, 2014

Dear Heartbreakers,

Posted by Kimberly | Labels:boys,heartbreak,lessons,letters,life,love,love stories,mistakes,reflection,relationships,romance

This is inspired by the girls who never got a chance to speak their mind and from a hard place that some of us have been in before....

You don't owe some of us anything. We get that. We thought you did.

We trusted you. At least we thought we could trust you. We didn't know you had another plan. One different than the one you promised. We went into this thinking the best. We hoped for the best. We hoped you had listened. We don't know why we opened ourselves up so much.

Sorry for believing things could be different.

For wanting to protect ours hearts once more.

For thinking maybe just maybe things could work.

For wanting to make it work. For wanting you to want us.

For wanting to show you it could be different with us.

For wanting to make you happy.

For caring about you.

For loving you.

Granted, you may have history and feelings with others. We thought we could show you something different. Be something different.

We can't compete with that and frankly, we shouldn't have to.

Hurt more than ever before because we thought we knew the person we were getting involved with. We didn't think you would leave, lie, or fool us.

We didn't think it would happen all over again. Or worse.

We can't give you what you want and that's clear. It's like déjà vu all over again.

We are some form of entertainment: an amateur act, an opening act, a piece of side entertainment that is only temporary.

Some of us are just there until you get exactly what you want.

You entertain us because maybe you feel bad.

Maybe you think you could help us.

Feel that we need attention or crave it because it's nonexistent at the moment.

To you, we aren't good enough for your full attention.

You probably didn't mean to hurt us but you sure as hell did.

A lot. A lot more than you can ever imagine. A lot more than you'll ever know.

We are used to it. The pain never goes away but it gets better slowly.

You said things, we said things.

It all comes down to actions. Actions that were never taken and promises that were never kept.

We thought we could try or attempt to see what could happen but we never got to see that chance.

We weren't good enough for that.

We deserve someone who gives a shit about us and what we want.

Someone who will make us forget any pain from before.

Someone who cares enough to make time for us.

Time we will forever treasure in our hearts.

We're like a mirror. Bright, shiny, and catch your attention once you take a glimpse.

The mirror looks nice and works great although it may have been damaged before.

But you don't know that. It's working fine, right?

You threw something at it just like the others.

A piece fell off that will never fit in it correctly again.

You took a piece out with your bare, unforgiving hand.

It's broken, open, and incapable of being completely fixed.

It can only be patched up to look like new.

A piece that's gone just like the others. Replaced but never the same.

The butterflies are all dead and we can feel the emptiness inside.

The dead wings that were once alive and fluttering.

Sorry for being too honest.

Sorry for trusting you so much.

Sorry for getting too excited.

Sorry for caring so much.

Sorry for thinking you cared about us when you really didn't.

That's just what we do. Guess what? That's just what we will continue to do.

Our hearts may have been broken, stepped on, shattered and somehow, we still manage to make them work.

We hope in some near or distant future we find someone that gives us some of the joy, happiness, and excitement you gave us, even if it was just temporary.

We hope you are happy and we are mature enough to wish you the best with whomever you chose to invest your time, attention, and love in.

In the end, we both deserve to be happy even if it's not the way we wanted it to be.

Even if it's not with us.

Sincerely,

The girls you lead on and left in the dust

The girls who cried in the shower until the tears and water streaming down our faces became one

The girls who cried themselves to sleep and couldn't breathe from the hurt and emptiness

The girls who couldn't sleep this time because they were questioning everything and not because you were keeping us up from late night conversation

The girls who wanted more than what they got

The girls who will struggle to trust the next guy ever again

The girls who gave it all

The girls with a broken heart

2 comments

Monday, June 2, 2014

20 Reflections on Turning 20

Posted by Kimberly | Labels:advice,birthday,career,college,decisions,education,family,friendships,funny,girl talk,let's talk,life,love,mistakes,reflection,relationships,twenty,work,young

Photo Credit: My best friend Lexis <3

20 years on this planet seems minute in comparison to say my mother, Oprah, or any other wise individual. Yet, on July 1st, my 20th birthday will confirm my 20 years of humorous, unique, and totally life changing experiences.

Now that I am heading into, what I like to call, my roaring 20's, it is only appropriate to share 20 reflections that sum up what I've learned and hope to use as I endeavor into a daunting, exciting, and a completely new chapter in my life.

1. It is okay to be inexperienced, single, and a complete hopeless romantic.

I have not only cherished the fact that I have never had a boyfriend and my lack of experience but also know that my significant other will appreciate my decision to remain as chaste as possible and the ability to make kissing and the sort quite a comical experience.

2. Learn to say NO.

Remember that word you couldn't stop saying when you were 2? Well, bring it on back. You can't do everything and you for sure can't please everybody. Learn to say NO when you know you can't do something or when you need to stop letting others walk all over you.

3. Dream and always dream BIG.

Even with a mother and a father who constantly tell me to write my goals down and to listen to Jim Rohn or Robert Kiyosaki audio books on the daily, I will always dream for what some may think is unattainable. If I hadn't done that, I for sure wouldn't have been featured in Seventeen Magazine at 16, been a featured blogger who lost 15 pounds on their summer challenge, and most of all, showed doubters that even the craziest of dreams can come true.

4. Your parents will ALWAYS be pushy and have your best interests in mind and certainly, don't take them for granted.

Yes, I am the last to admit it but your parents will always influence your decisions and ultimately who you are. As the oldest, my parents are still learning to detach themselves and allow me to make decisions but being that I am still not able to pay my own bills, my parents still take control of some aspects of my life.

5. It's never too late to start over.

You can always decide to change your outlook, body, or even relationships with friends and family.

6. Embrace who you are and others will too.

Being a girl who grew up in a predominantly straight haired, light eyed, stick thin neighborhood, I never appreciated my curvaceous figure. After some years of working out (thank goodness for puberty), I've come to accept that I will never be a size 0 and that it's good thing to have a J.Lo-esque derrière.

7. Don't let the opinions of others consume you.

Who cares what other people think. Ultimately, the only opinion you should care about is that one that you have about yourself.

8. Let go and really, truly let God

Yes, I am religious and truly believe in God's ability to steer you in the right direction. Sometimes it may seem that He isn't there. But trust me when I say He never fails to make me laugh because he is ALWAYS there.

9. Work HARD

You're only young at a certain portion in your life. Take advantage of it. I know that hard work pays off in good grades, opportunities, and recognition from others.

10. Think positively

It's so easy to think the worst. How hard is it to think the best? It takes the same effort.

11. Don't let one experience predetermine others.

You failed that test. A boy broke your heart. You lost that game. Just because something like this happens, does not mean it will continue to happen. Keep moving forward and if all else fails, read #8.

12. Try something new.

I NEVER and I repeat..NEVER thought I would be able to swim competitively in general, let alone at a collegiate level. I am a work in progress, but I am proud to say that swimming has taught me both endurance and to never underestimate the power of water, especially at 6AM.

13. SPLURGE

As an aspiring fashionista, the one thing I will never fail to do is splurge on that one item. If you have a job, work hard, and want those gorgeous pair of Hunter boots...BUY THEM.

14. Appreciate the friends that you have and learn to let some go.

Some people are meant to be in your life temporarily and that definitely goes for friends. I know I've met some of my bridesmaids and future godmothers of my children but I've also lost friends that certainly don't have my interests or loyalty at heart.

15. Boys will be boys.

If there's anything I've learned, men will always be incomprehensible to us females. Some will use you, mess with your feelings, call you pretty, kiss you, ignore you in public, lie, and flat out tell you they want nothing to do with you. Apart from these facts, I just know that one day, although it seems completely dismal most of the time, the right guy will come along and most certainly, confirm these facts for you.

Just kidding! That guy will most definitely make all that heartache a thing of the past.

16. Cherish the present.

You know when you say "I can't wait!"? Instead of wishing you were 21 or wishing that you had your own place so you can do whatever you want (like walking around naked and eating like no tomorrow), relish what it's like right now. At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever be.

17. Take care of yourself.

Work out. Eat well. Take care of your skin. I have aspirations of aging like J. Lo or Jennifer Aniston and that does not happen by sitting on a couch all day and not using wrinkle cream.

18. Accept your mistakes.

Yeah, you wish you hadn't done that or made that decision, but guess what? You did. Can't change the past and if it weren't for those decisions, you wouldn't be where you are right now. I've made plenty and frankly, I couldn't be prouder.

19. Speak your mind.

If you have something to say, say it. If you don't, then who will do it for you?

20. Accept who you are and don't ever be ashamed of it.

I am by far an awkward, unapologetic, innocent, and ambitious girl. Some people take advantage of it but others love those things about me. Some may think I'm a nut, weird, and completely clueless. Although some of it may be true at times, I honestly can say that I am proud of who I am and will continue to be just those things.

2 comments

All About Romance: The List

Dear Heartbreakers,

20 Reflections on Turning 20

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