You don't owe some of us anything. We get that. We thought you did.
We trusted you. At least we thought we could trust you. We didn't know you had another plan. One different than the one you promised. We went into this thinking the best. We hoped for the best. We hoped you had listened. We don't know why we opened ourselves up so much.
Sorry for believing things could be different.
For wanting to protect ours hearts once more.
For thinking maybe just maybe things could work.
For wanting to make it work. For wanting you to want us.
For wanting to show you it could be different with us.
For wanting to make you happy.
For caring about you.
For loving you.
Granted, you may have history and feelings with others. We thought we could show you something different. Be something different.
We can't compete with that and frankly, we shouldn't have to.
Hurt more than ever before because we thought we knew the person we were getting involved with. We didn't think you would leave, lie, or fool us.
We didn't think it would happen all over again. Or worse.
We can't give you what you want and that's clear. It's like déjà vu all over again.
We are some form of entertainment: an amateur act, an opening act, a piece of side entertainment that is only temporary.
Some of us are just there until you get exactly what you want.
You entertain us because maybe you feel bad.
Maybe you think you could help us.
Feel that we need attention or crave it because it's nonexistent at the moment.
To you, we aren't good enough for your full attention.
You probably didn't mean to hurt us but you sure as hell did.
A lot. A lot more than you can ever imagine. A lot more than you'll ever know.
We are used to it. The pain never goes away but it gets better slowly.
You said things, we said things.
It all comes down to actions. Actions that were never taken and promises that were never kept.
We thought we could try or attempt to see what could happen but we never got to see that chance.
We weren't good enough for that.
We deserve someone who gives a shit about us and what we want.
Someone who will make us forget any pain from before.
Someone who cares enough to make time for us.
Time we will forever treasure in our hearts.
We're like a mirror. Bright, shiny, and catch your attention once you take a glimpse.
The mirror looks nice and works great although it may have been damaged before.
But you don't know that. It's working fine, right?
You threw something at it just like the others.
A piece fell off that will never fit in it correctly again.
You took a piece out with your bare, unforgiving hand.
It's broken, open, and incapable of being completely fixed.
It can only be patched up to look like new.
A piece that's gone just like the others. Replaced but never the same.
The butterflies are all dead and we can feel the emptiness inside.
The dead wings that were once alive and fluttering.
Sorry for being too honest.
Sorry for trusting you so much.
Sorry for getting too excited.
Sorry for caring so much.
Sorry for thinking you cared about us when you really didn't.
That's just what we do. Guess what? That's just what we will continue to do.
Our hearts may have been broken, stepped on, shattered and somehow, we still manage to make them work.
We hope in some near or distant future we find someone that gives us some of the joy, happiness, and excitement you gave us, even if it was just temporary.
We hope you are happy and we are mature enough to wish you the best with whomever you chose to invest your time, attention, and love in.
In the end, we both deserve to be happy even if it's not the way we wanted it to be.
Even if it's not with us.
Sincerely,
The girls you lead on and left in the dust
The girls who cried in the shower until the tears and water streaming down our faces became one
The girls who cried themselves to sleep and couldn't breathe from the hurt and emptiness
The girls who couldn't sleep this time because they were questioning everything and not because you were keeping us up from late night conversation
The girls who wanted more than what they got
The girls who will struggle to trust the next guy ever again
The girls who gave it all
The girls with a broken heart
amazing work
ReplyDeletethank you sissy <3
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